George Carlin

• The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
• Religion is just mind control.
• The status quo sucks.
• I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.
• I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
• There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
• Weather forecast for tonight: dark.